Creating an Identity that Serves You

When I tell people I started playing golf for my mental health, I usually get the same response:

“You should have picked a different sport.”

Because, let’s be honest—golf is hard. It’s frustrating. It tests your patience, your focus, your ego… and sometimes your sanity. But if we really want to grow mentally and emotionally, we can’t just stick to the easy stuff.

Want to become more patient? Stand in the longer line.

Want to love more deeply? Love someone who isn’t easy to love.

Want to improve your mindset? Try playing 18 holes with no mulligans.

Golf has blessed me in ways I never could have anticipated. Sure, there are the obvious benefits—community, connection, time in nature, movement, and yes, the glorious silence when your phone is on airplane mode.

But most of the greatest gifts have come from the inner work the game requires.

When I first started, I was “good for a girl.” And that label stuck with me—until I decided it wasn’t good enough. I started entering tournaments, hitting further and more confidently, and yes, sometimes driving my pink golf ball right past the boys.

What changed? My mindset.

Last year, I started listening to The Golfer’s Mind by Dr. Bob Rotella, a sports psychologist who has spent decades working with elite athletes. His words felt like they were written just for me—especially when he spoke about the stories we tell ourselves on the course.

He explained that if you believe you’re a “bogey golfer,” your subconscious will do its best to make that true. Even if you’re playing well, it will quietly course-correct you back to your expectations.

That hit me hard.

So I rewrote my script.

My new mantra:

Bogey is good. Par is better. Birdies are always more fun.

I am a par player—even when I don’t make par on every hole. Why? Because I believe I can. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.

When I have a rough round, I remind myself: every shot is a new opportunity. Every swing is a fresh start. Just like in life, we can always choose to get back on track, no matter how far off course we’ve gone.

Now, maybe golf isn’t your classroom—and that’s totally fine. The key is to find something that challenges you, stretches you, and brings joy even when it’s tough. Maybe for you, it’s painting. Or gardening. Or writing. Or baking that complicated recipe you’ve saved a hundred times.

What matters most is that we create space for growth—and ideally, we do it together.

That’s why I created #WiseGirl, a new initiative to support the mental health and leadership development of women in sports and entertainment. It’s a passion project born from life lessons, on and off the course. And this fall, we’re kicking things off with an event for college students in Spokane, a mental health workshop in south Florida, and a retreat early 2026.

If you’ve learned your own life lessons through golf—or any other challenging but meaningful pursuit—I’d love to hear from you. Let’s keep the conversation going and play it forward.

💬 Comment below or message me directly.

📣 And don’t forget to follow @WiseGirlGolf and share your own #WiseGirl stories.

“Winning has always meant much to me, but winning friends has meant the most.”

— Babe Didrikson Zaharias

With love and par-level optimism,

Coach Heidi